Hold Me

I had a good week. It was relaxing and peaceful and it was nice to not have any kids to worry about at all. I took a break from the internet and actually enjoyed it a lot. However, now that the kids are back at the house there's more stuff going on. And I'm very frustrated at the moment. I'm finally realizing that I have 3 weeks to find an internship and as of right now I've got no leads. Noone is calling me back, or answering my emails, and I can't find any more opportunities out there. I finally emailed my advisor for connections on her end, so we'll see what happens. I also realized that in a month I'll be living in an apartment and I'm gonna have to pay rent. Which means I'm gonna need a steady income. Which means I'm gonna need a job which is something else that I don't have and need to find. But with the job market nowadays?? It's gonna be ridiculous. I've also been in a strange mood today. Usually I'm super excited to have the kids but I was frankly quite annoyed with them all this evening. I kept wanting to go lock myself up in a room or bathroom and be by myself. I would've gone for a walk but when it's 110 degrees at 5pm...ugh.

I'm also quite jealous of some people. And I'm feeling lonely. The family has plans to go to the water park and Chuck E. Cheese this week but as of right now I'm not wanting to go to either of those places. I know I'll most likely end up going cuz it's good to get out of the house, but right now I just wanna crawl into a hole, curl up and die...or cry. or both. I just need someone to hold me and assure me everything's gonna be ok and it'll all work out in time. Right now is the time when I wish I could literally feel God's arm around my shoulders and his hand on mine, and feel him kissing my forehead and comforting me.

That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin
Joshua 1:9