Well...

This is how I look when I'm completely exhausted. Physically, mentally, and spiritually drained. When I don't think I have another ounce of energy to get me through the day. When I don't think I can stand to listen to my sick baby cry for another second. When all I wanna do is scream, punch a pillow, or throw something really fragile and expensive.

BUT......

I stop myself. I don't give up. I can't! My 8-month-old daughter needs me. My currently-out-of-town husband needs me. In those moments, I take a deep breath. I pray to God for just one more minute of patience. For my child to be able to snuggle me quietly for just 10 seconds before another outburst.

I know I'll be ok. I know I'll make it. I know that this is just a phase of life and when I look back in 10 years, I probably won't even remember this moment. And that's comforting.

So if you're having an off day, whether it's something little like your sick child screaming in your ear as you try to comfort her, or suffering from depression, or whatever it may be, know that God will get you through it. It just takes time.

"All things work together for the good of those who love Him."

New Mommy!

I'm a mommy!! My beautiful baby girl, Lana Christine Hogan, was born on May 5th at 9:17 pm. She is the cutest, sweetest, most adorable, fun baby ever! I would say happiest, but she'll have to take 2nd place for that since her cousin is ALWAYS happy haha. Being a mom for the past 6 weeks has been so crazy. The moment they put her in my arms I never wanted to let go. It's crazy how much you can love a person before even really meeting them. And this is only a FRACTION of how much God loves us, which I can't even fathom.
It's been interesting these past 6 weeks. I have to actually think about everything I do and everywhere I go. When I want to go to the store or a friend's house I have to make sure I have an extra outfit, plenty of diapers, blankets, burp rags, wipes, snacks,...and more! When I wanna work out I have to make sure she's gonna be happy or sleeping the whole time. If I want to go to the gym I have to get someone to watch her and make sure they have everything they need and I have to plan the perfect time to go so she doesn't get hungry or too fussy while I'm gone. Who knew such a little person could make life so different? But I love her and I can't wait to watch her grow and her personality develop!

PS she already has her daddy wrapped around her little finger :)

Sometimes...

Sometimes I forget to tell my husband I love him. Sometimes I treat him as my best friend (which he is), but not more. Sometimes I forget to treat him as my husband. Sometimes I forget that he needs reassurance. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes...
But sometimes I don't! Sometimes I tell him every hour how much I love him. How much I appreciate him. How blessed I am to be married to him. How proud I am of what he's doing with the youth of Ramona. How I appreciate how supportive he is of my goals and ambitions!
I think that's been my biggest struggle of marriage. We were "just friends" for so long before we even considered dating, it's easy to fall back to treating him as "just" a friend. But then I realize how HUGE it is that we have such a firm foundation for our relationship. And I know we are blessed. I see too many people rush into marriage and end up getting divorced because they "fell out of love." BALONEY!! Love is a CHOICE! And I choose to love my husband until the day I die. I made a promise, and I don't break my promises. Nor do I take them lightly.
So yes, sometimes I don't like my husband. Sometimes I find it hard to love him. But I ALWAYS lean on God for strength to love him. Because that's what we are called to do.
May our marriage be a testimony to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and bring others closer to HIM!
Peace out, y'all!

Isn't he adorable? Can't wait to see him as a DADDY!!!

Let's Get Physical

Dang time flies! I'm close to 27 weeks pregnant...that's almost 7 months! I can't believe that there's a little baby growing inside of me. Actually I can...This little baby is kicking around like crazy most days! Stubborn though because he/she won't always kick for daddy :) It makes Sean sad sometimes, but he got to feel quite a few good kicks today.
In spite of being pregnant, feeling exhausted most of the time, and definitely not eating enough food for all the "body building" I'm currently doing, I still manage to get a good workout in 5-6 days a week for at least 30 minutes. It's not always easy, I promise you that. It definitely takes motivation and dedication and a desire to stay healthy. Instead of working on having my rock-hard 6-pack abs, I'm striving for strong legs, endurance, and nicely sculpted arms and back. Here is today's workout for all y'all to check out. Maybe even get some motivation if you need it!
Being a certified personal trainer definitely helps me be capable of putting together a tough, effective workout that will not only leave me sore the next day, but help me build strength! Stuck in a rut? Hit me up!! I'll GLADLY help you out. It is my passion after all :)

Back & Bi’s

“J” Rope pull-in
TRX High row
Kettlebell angled press
4 sets of 12 reps
1-arm bent-over row
Rear delt flyes
Hanging scap retractions
4 sets of 12 reps
Cable bicep curls
2-arm hammer curls
Cross-body curls (alt. Arms)
3 sets of 12-15 reps

Definitely feelin' those bi's burning!

Momma Hogan out!!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

It's been a long time since I last wrote anything. I wish I was more consistent. I love reading about people's lives (reading anything really), so you'd think writing would be easy for me so that OTHERS could read about MY life. I just forget things. But writing is a great way of venting frustrations and feelings without anybody having to really get involved...unless you have other people read it. Then you may get all sorts of unsolicited advice. And I'm ok with that.
Anyways, life has been...hectic. To say the least haha. I'm 4 months pregnant, working 2 jobs, volunteering as a leader of youth group, married life, Sunday school teacher, trying to figure out what my next training certification should be and how to afford it...and who knows what else I do on a regular basis? It's all time-consuming and exhausting at the same time. But I'm very excited for this new chapter in my life. Sure, it's been hard and uncomfortable up til now with morning (aka all-day) sickness, nausea, sudden hunger pains, fatigue, growing abdomen, and random acquaintances acting like my best friends...but it's all going to be worth it once I meet this little one in less than 6 months! And along with all that comes the life-changing decision of whether or not I continue working, if I do where do I stay, where do I leave, where will we live, how will we afford it...so much that I could potentially be stressing out about.
But GOD IS GOOD and HE has been constantly and consistently reminding me that everything will work out and be perfect as long as I continue to trust and have faith in Him. It's not always easy, granted. I have my days of freak-outs or mental break-downs, but overall I feel calm. And I can't wait to see what happens in the future. I've wanted to be a mommy since I was 5 (except for those few years in High school and College when I wanted to be a lone traveler), and now that this dream is finally coming true I'm stoked. It won't be easy. But I know that being a mommy is going to be the most rewarding job ever. Period.
Momma Hogan out.

Oy vey...

Why is life so frustrating? Why can't i do what I love without having to add in extra work? I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I was so wrong. I should've thought this through. I should've prayed more about it before accepting this. Why don't I think? Why just I always jump at a chance without thinking about the add-ons? I thought this would be a piece of cake. It's not. All I really wanna do is glorify god in all that I do but that's so hard when I get anxious with what I do. God I need you. I need your wisdom. Your strength. Your discernment. And your courage to do the right thing and your hand guiding me towards what the right thing is cuz right now I have no clue what that is.

Broken

How do you react when someone you love dearly has been hurt? How do you react when they've been hurt by somebody you both trusted and respected, just tearing your heart to pieces? It almost makes me think that you really can't trust anybody. But I refuse to believe that. I know my husband. I know my parents. So was the case of these dear someones in my life...leaving me shattered. broken. now all that's left for us all to do is get up, wipe all the tears away, and pick up the broken pieces. We can trust God. We can know that He will ultimately use these broken hearts for his glory and turn them into something stronger, more resilient, and maybe more loving.
Please, friends, love one another. "...keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8. It may be difficult to love someone who has hurt you or another so deeply. But everyone deserves a second chance, especially if they are family.
Love God. Love others. God bless.