Leavin' on a jet plane

But I know when I'll be back. January 11th! I'm going to Thailand for 2 weeks on a short missions trip to the Karen people in the Hill Tribes. I'm so excited, but I'm also very sick. Figures that I'd get sick on Christmas day right before traveling for 20+ hours to a city so far away with foods that could very easily upset my stomach. Not to mention the fact that we'll be driving on dirt roads in open-back trucks for 8-9 hours the following day (Dec. 30th). Oy vey. But it'll be wonderful. I get to go with a great group of people from school, including my handsome fiance, Sean :) It's gonna be an experience worth remembering and documenting so I'm very thankful to mom Hogan, Kathy, for letting us use her camera. If you'd like to follow our adventures, here's the link: http://sdccthailandteam.blogspot.com/

I'm not sure how often the blog will be updated because we have absolutely no internet access in the village. BUT it will be at least something along the lines "we're in Chiang Mai about to go to the village" and then "we're back from the village on the way to LA". So you'll at least know we're all alive and well.

Have a wonderful winter break! I hope you all had a merry Christmas and pray you have a happy new year :) That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

Joy To The World

I'm done with school!!! I had my final and 15-minute presentation on Thursday and when it was over I realized I was a college graduate! It's crazy to think...obviously I won't get my real diploma for a while, but I'm done!! There's no way I failed any classes this semester and if they say I still have a class missing I'm gonna sue. Geez...but I doubt any of that is gonna happen. Praise The Lord I'm DOOOOONEEEE!!!!!! Not only that, but I found out recently that I'm definitely gonna be going to Thailand this winter which makes me superly duper excited!! I didn't think I was gonna make it cuz I still had over $1,000 to raise, but apparently God wants me to go, so the money miraculously came in. Such a blessing! So, now I just don't know what to do with myself. I have no studying to do...every again! Well, maybe a bit since I've been thinking about getting certified as a personal trainer. That'll require some studying. But i'm all moved in to my new living space in Ramona, I'm surrounded by silly old people who are awesome and who never cease to make me smile. And I'm going to Disneyland with some of my best friends tomorrow, and that alone has got me so excited!! Dang, I really gotta get started on this wedding planning stuff...I've been so focused on moving, school, and Thailand stuff that I haven't given the wedding much thought. I do still have some Christmas shopping to do, as well as shopping for the things I'll need for Thailand...I'll do that next week with Sean. Oh yeah, he's going too! The news just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

Well folks, that's it from me!! My life is about to take a drastic turn, for the better!
And that's life through the eyes of an excited, graduated banana munchkin.

if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it...

AND HE DID!!! well friends, it's official. i'm engaged!!! and for those of you who like to be silly (like my dear ol' daddy) or actually need clarification, i'm engaged to be MARRIED!! wow, that's just crazy to even think about. and it was wonderful too...i was totally and completely surprised. there was no suspicion or questioning going on in my brain at all. AT ALL!! that's how good he is at keeping secrets AND making others keep secrets too...aka the entire school!!! for real though. i'm not joking. practically the entire school knew before me. it's crazy. and i'd go into detail explaining how exactly he did it, but i've already had to tell the story so many times and i feel silly saying it again. besides, there's gonna be a video! so i'll post it when that happens. but basically, he proposed on the same bench his dad proposed to his mom to (which i knew about beforehand), but the reason why i wasn't suspicious is cuz even though i knew it'd always been his dream to propose at that spot, i figured since i knew of his plan before we were even interested in each other that he'd change it so i wouldn't know. but he didn't :) he got me...by asking if he could pretend to propose there "just to see what it feels like". haha and i fell for it. and got engaged :) YESTERDAY!! well...the day before technically. on friday.

well, i'm happy. i didn't think this day would come so soon. but it has. and it makes me excited. YAY WEDDING PLANNING!!! hahaha
and that's life through the eyes of a very excited, overjoyed, overwhelmed, ecstatic banana munchkin

 

Christmas time is here!

well...not quite. there's still thanksgiving. and the rest of the school year. but then it's christmas! i'm very much looking forward to it. i only have 23 days left until i graduate! and i'm moving at the end of november...which is frightening cuz i haven't even started packing, but seeing as how i don't have that much stuff anyways, i'll get it done fast. it's weird to be at this point already. i finished the two papers i have due, now i just gotta study for my test on thursday and then i've got nothing til december 8th, which is my final and my capstone presentation. and then i'm freeeee!!!!! dang, i can't wait. i'm excited. to start a full-time job. to not have to worry about school work. to not have to go to classes where i feel like my time is wasted. to not have to drive places just to go there. i'll be driving somewhere that will pay me!

i've been wanting to go to Disneyland for the longest time, and especially now that they have their christmas decorations up! i think i've been to disneyland at christmas time when i was like 3 or 4, but i'm not sure. it could've been just a parade of some sort. but i would like to go now that it'd be something i could actually remember haha...hopefully! and my half-marathon is in 2 months and then some...and i'm already ready to run it! i can run 13 miles no problem...so now i guess i just need to keep going and work on my speed...oh my life. is not very interesting. it is what it is i guess haha.

that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

Today

I choose joy. The saying I keep telling myself every day. Life has been going by pretty fast so far. Stuff was finally getting piled up and keeping me busy, but having written my 10-15 page research paper already, I don't know what to do now besides start working on the next one that's due in a few weeks. I get discouraged easily, I've noticed. And I've decided that I often forget all the good things in my life. How blessed I am compared to many people around the world? SO blessed!!! Seriously...I have food, a car, money in my savings account that will help pay for rent and gas over the next couple months, I have a family that loves and supports me, a loving boyfriend whose family is willing to take me in when I'm done with classes and not charge me rent. I am so blessed. And I do have a job. It's part-time, but it pays really well. And i love it! How many people can honestly say that they love their job?? Not very many. But I sure can. I've been so blessed throughout my entire life, yet I still get discouraged and sad, thinking I need more. that's when Sean slaps me upside the head and says "GET A GRIP HANNAH!!!" Okay, not really. But he'd have every right to. He keeps me going, not just cuz i love him and he loves me, but because he has so much wisdom and so many encouraging things to say. My best friend. he rocks :) Oh, I'm looking into private schools in the area to see if they need PE or music teachers...part-time or just subs :) it'd be fun.


That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

my screensaver. always to remind me.

Just Give It Time

A phrase I use to keep reminding myself that something good's gonna happen. I just gotta be patient and know that the Lord is in control. But praise Him! I just got hired with Fit Kids America to be a soccer coach, and possibly a basketball coach. It's only something I would be doing 4 or 5 hours a week, but it's definitely a start. It'll bring some money in for rent and hopefully gas, and then I can find something else for the rest of the time. I called Starbucks today, but they haven't gone through all the applications yet and told me to call back next week. So I will. Even though it's definitely a college student type job, it'd be something I could do on the side for a while, it'd bring some extra money in for food, and I'd be getting free coffee on the side ;) always a plus!

I'm basically getting kicked in the butt by God right now. He's definitely putting my faith to test, and I'm kinda scared to think of how I'd be graded if it was anything like school. I'm definitely trying, and I'm applying to places, calling people, spending my money wisely (on necessities like food, gas, and rent) and not doing anything stupid. I've been doing my schoolwork and stuff for my internship, but now it's all in the Lord's hands. If he wants me to be broke and have to move into a motor home in Ramona for a while, well, I'm sure it'd be good for me. Maybe get my life into perspective? It'd be interesting that's for sure, so I'm just trusting that He will provide in due time, and as stressful and scary as it is, it's a lesson that I feel like I will always have to relearn, or always be in the process of living.

I'm still hoping to go to Thailand in December. I have to raise another $ 2,000 in order to go, so that's another thing that I've put into the Lord's hands. I've done my part - sent out letters and emails - so now I rely on people to be generous and give what they can. Honestly, if I could, I'd pay for it myself. That's how much I really want to go. After going last time with the expectation of being able to help the Karen and teach them something, I realize that it's more of a learning experience for ME. And it's another step of faith....just one of those things every Christian needs.

Reunited with a good friend :) SARAH!

That's life summed up through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

Gone

My motivation for finding a job is shot. It's gone. Nobody is calling me back. Nobody seems to care enough. It's so unprofessional and rude and disrespectful and...well, you get the point. I don't get it. People say they're looking for more help but nothing happens. I'm ready to pack up and move to another country where they WILL hire me. Take that America! Haha!!!

I am looking forward to going to Thailand though. I've raised about 1/3 of what I need and just need to motivate myself to print off my letters and send them out. Fun stuff...more money being spent. Oy vey. I seriously am ready to be done and become a drifter.

Well, wish me luck peeps. Gonna start looking for more jobs at places where hopefully people actually want me. Depressing. Good night everyone! That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

PS: This guy brings happiness to my life :)

Sittin', Waitin', Wishin'

Well, not much has changed. I'm still looking for a job, but I'm loving my internship. It really is amazing. I never thought that I'd enjoy this type of work so much, because it's half helping people with nutrition, and half selling and promoting Herbalife products...so it's like an entrepreneurial type of job. Something I never thought I'd like. But I definitely think that part of the reason why I enjoy it so much is because I know that what I'm selling actually works. Yeah, I'm sure that's what everyone says when they're selling something, but I'm not the type of person to say something works if it doesn't. Let's just say that it works for me. The tea gives me energy, just like it says it's supposed to do. Seriously. I have one cup of the tea (usually iced) and my energy is through the roof for the rest of the day! Even when I'm ready to go to bed...so weird. But I'm excited cuz today I got my own website through the company! So now when people wanna order stuff they can just go to www.shopherbalife.com/hshattuck and order through there. Easy peasy! :) I'm loving this. I'm actually in the process of making a sale to this lady who's allergic to soy, so she tried out our allergen-free smoothie and LOVED IT!! haha, just like we all knew she would. cool stuff.

Anyways, I'm waiting to hear back from the Rancho Bernardo Inn where I applied to be a hostess. It's a job that I would love to have, so if you guys could pray that I get it, I'd be so appreciative! I've been filling out applications on care.com to be a nanny or babysitter but haven't heard back from anyone. Except this one lady who said I didn't seem like I'd be a good fit for her 4 month old daughter...oh well! Her loss hahaha...just kidding. I'm not prideful, I promise.

So yeah...my life is filled with my internship on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and class and intramurals on Tuesdays and Thursdays. soooo busy...NOT! I keep trying to find ways to keep myself busy and that usually ends up me learning more about my internship and the company Herbalife, or applying for more jobs. Sad.

Well folks, that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin for now. Peace out! :)

O Praise Him!

It's been a long, busy, kinda stressful week and a half since I last blogged. I've been applying for jobs, applying for internships, going into places and talking to them, going to class, figuring out money stuff, getting settled into the apartment, and trying to have a schedule for my life haha. But praise Him cuz I have an internship!! I'm officially working for Club Wellness in Poway, CA. I'm a wellness/nutrition coach so I help people get healthier and in better shape. I'm so excited for this. The company is one that promotes Herbalife products and we sell them to our customers to help them get results. It's a part-time job with no set salary, haha, so I basically gotta work if I want money. But that's why I'm considering it my internship :) And they already filled out all the paperwork for it so I'm set! Now I'm gonna keep looking around for a job that'll actually pay me an hourly wage so I can have a paycheck coming in. Not such a terrible thing to want, right? Just some extra money coming in to help pay for gas so I can use what I already have for rent. Anyways...yup!! And I love my apartment. There are very few dull moments. There's always someone that's hyper or weird or going crazy...it's awesome.

Well, I'm off to celebrate my birthday. Hahaha...by filling out job applications until I decide to get ready for dinner. Ciao!

And that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

I FEel Good

I missed my puppy

Da-nana-nana-nana...i knew that i would!! it's been a great weekend. i've missed my family oh so much and this weekend has just reminded me of how much i love them and how loved i am. it's been an exciting and eventful weekend so far. we went down to tucson yesterday and spent the day with candace, luke, and titus who is totally adorable and entertaining! it was so much fun! he just walks around and babbles, loves to be tickled, loves to read and watch "how to train your dragon". it's fun now cuz you can have conversations with him and he'll respond either by babbling, saying "yes" or even shaking or nodding his head depending on how he's feeling at the time. such a sweetheart.

i can't believe that i'm going back to school in less than two days. summer has flown by and the time i'm spending with my family hasn't been enough. but i guess it's always better to want more time with your family than to dread any time you have to spend with them...something that makes me different from quite a few people i know. i never had a rebellious stage. the most rebellious i got was when i was about to leave for college and i mouthed off to my mom...i then proceeded to be grounded for two weeks haha. now that's embarrassing. being grounded at the age 17 hahaha. oh well...as you can see it really didn't affect my relationship with my parents haha.

ok, so there must be something about going back to san diego that my car doesn't like. this is the third time that something's been wrong with the car just a day or two before i have to drive back. the first time my battery kept dying. the second time my dad ran over a nail and i had to run around town looking for a tire that's the right size for my car for hours the day before driving back to school. and now i have a flat tire and i'm hoping that all i'll need is it to get patched. so, i have an appointment at 8 in the morning tomorrow and if it can't get fixed then i have all day to get a new tire hahaha.

i learned how to change the oil and transmission fluid in a car today!! so that's a good thing that happened today, even in spite of some of the not-so-enjoyable or fun things that happened. poor daddy...he had to do so much stuff on his day off. and all he wanted to do was relax! but instead he got to spend a few hours with me in the garage, trying to figure out how to unscrew bolts from the oil pan, or how to unscrew the oil filter in my car haha...apparently the japanese didn't think to make spaces bigger so that people of normal size could fit their hands in between and fix their own cars...so funny. so i now know how to jump start a car, how to change a tire, and how to change my own oil! and most other fluids in the car haha...i'm getting to be so handy! :) and i even have my own jumper cables and a quart of oil in my car! thanks daddy for being awesome and giving me things that you know i'll need cuz of past experiences :) he's so amazing.

Momma <3

well, i'm off...i'm gonna spend time with my familia instead of typing away on a computer. that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin! :) nighty night!!!

Dog Days Are Over

 I spent my morning listening to Florence + The Machine while getting ready for the day today...it was wonderful. I really do love her music! It's so unique and upbeat but mellow but powerful all at the same time! it really is something else...

well, my last day with the kiddos is almost over. Becca, the boys' mom, will be home in a little over an hour and then they're going to "meet the teacher" night at school. so i'll be here, waiting impatiently for the girls to get here. and then we'll have dinner, eat some birthday cake, and go for a night swim later on. i can't wait! so my day was spent building a fort with a giant parachute, playing wii mario kart and losing miserably, except for one time!!, and eating jelly beans and trail mix while watching "good luck charlie!" on the disney channel. it's been a lot of fun so far :) and just for the record, the only reason why i wasn't doing very well in mario kart was cuz i'm not used to steering with the wii-mote. if i had the little controller with the joystick then i'd do great! i'm just better with my thumb i guess haha.

now that the summer is over, i'm sad. and still stressing cuz i haven't heard back from ANYONE about internships!!! oy vey...i'm gonna call the YMCA tmw if they don't respond by then, cuz i'd love to work there. if i don't get it, then i'll just have to look elsewhere. and i know i'll find something, it's just frightening to think that i'll be in school in less than a week and i still don't have anything. geez louise!

and i FINALLY finally FINALLY got some pictures of the boys to share with you guys!! they're such hams...so ridiculous sometimes haha.

Hahaha, Tyler posing as the tough guy
 he so often tries to be

Grady being...well, Grady! hahaha

And the boys together!!! They're a fun bunch :)

Becca and Matt :)

The kiddos after a mud run a couple months ago

Well folks, that's been my life this summer with this wonderful, crazy, awesome, happy, ridiculous, memorable, fun-loving, accepting, and giving family :) And that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

This Is It

I only have 2 days with the boys and then I'm headed back to Phoenix. That's so crazy to think that the summer's gone by as fast as it did! In some ways it feels like it's been a really long time (not in a bad way), but at the same time, it doesn't feel like I've been here for 10 weeks. It's gonna be a bittersweet moment when I have to leave. I don't think about it too much cuz I know if I do then I won't enjoy the time I have with the boys. And after today, I'm looking forward to the next 2 days! These boys crack me up :) I often forget how funny and entertaining they can be when the girls are around cuz there's more drama going on, and a lot of the time I'm more concerned with Becca and whether she's doing ok. It's kinda sad now that I think about it. But today was fun cuz Becca and the boys took me to this place called Sam Moon. It's this giant warehouse that sells jewelry, luggage, wallets, purses, hats...fun stuff! So Becca told me before we got there that I'd need to pick something for my birthday. And basically implied that I have no choice in the matter. She knows me all too well :) so we walked in and I was instantly overwhelmed. The walls were filled with jewelry and bags, the floor space was taken up with more bags and jewelry...I had no idea that there could be so many types of necklaces, earrings, purses, and wallets in one place! So I wandered around a bit and started looking at the necklaces thinking that that'd be a good gift. I was actually looking for something that would resemble a locket, but when I didn't find anything, Becca asked if I needed a new bag. When I explained to her the condition mine was in, she laughed, and started looking around for something that she thought I might like. My bag, you see, is wonderful. It's green, it's comfortable to take places, it's plenty big for lots of stuff, and I've had it for quite some time so it's become a part of me. But it's ripping. Pretty much everywhere. i've tried sewing it up in some spots, but the thread has started to rip hahaha. So I decided a bag was a good idea.

But that meant that I'd have to look through all the bags that the warehouse had and pick one I liked! And if you know me, then you know that I don't want them to spend a lot of money on me. So if I saw a bag I kinda liked, I'd glance at the price and go "heck no" and walk away from it without a second thought haha. I finally narrowed it down to two bags, thanks to Becca's keen eye and having read my expressions to other ones she'd shown me earlier, but had problems decided. So i had Grady, the 8 year old boy, help me out. He gave me his opinion, and then we compared the colors of the bags, which one had more pockets, the strap comfort, the smoothness of the leather, and the price of the bag. The deciding factor in this bag for me, since they were both very similar, was definitely the strap. The one I ended up choosing feels much smoother on my shoulder than the other one did. And Grady proceeded to model the bag for me hahaha. So I'm happy with my choice :) plus, it smells really good!!

Still haven't heard back from YMCA about what I can do. I'm getting a little impatient at this point cuz I won't know what to do if it's a not. Oy vey...I should go for a run and cool off haha.

That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

Maybe This Time

No boys today. I guess their dad decided to keep them until the original date haha. They get back tomorrow, but i still won't have them to myself cuz Becca's not working. So my week is easier than I thought it would be! hahaha, awesome. So now I'm basically trying to figure out where to run in the morning...I've just started following this half marathon training schedule, and tomorrow i'm supposed to run 3 miles. Now, that's not hard for me to do, but I'm terrible at judging distances so I'm gonna have to google map everything to figure out where I should go hahaha. Oy vey...not that big of a deal though. I'll figure it out :) besides, i'm not even 100% sure if i am gonna do the half marathon. i have til october 1st to register before the price goes up, so we'll see how things are going at that point i guess.

So, exciting news!! I just got an email from the YMCA that there's a paid position available in the kid's fitness department. However, they also offer internships and they still have openings left! and Lisa, the gal who emailed me, asked which I would prefer...now that's a tough choice cuz I need both. making money is always nice, especially since i'll need to pay rent and buy food and pay for gas and stuff. but the internship is something i need for this semester so i can graduate. so i did what made sense. i asked lisa if it would be possible to have the paid position, but still have them fill out the paperwork and stuff, cuz it'd be kinda like an internship. and if that's not possible, then i guess having an internship is more important at this point. i can go a few months without a job, but not without an internship...ayayay. so, if you wouldn't mind praying for a miracle and for me to be able to have a paid internship, that'd be great! thanks a lot :) maybe this time it'll work out!!

well, not very much exciting news in my life. although, skype is becoming one of my favorite things at this point, cuz i've been able to talk to my sister and nephew, sean, and bethany all within the past couple days!! i guess it helps that i haven't had kids around too :)

and that's life through the eyes of a hopeful banana munchkin.

With a little help from my friends...

...and wonderful family members, I was able to figure out what I could do that would bring me joy in life!! I love fitness, which is why I decided to study Kinesiology and be a personal trainer. But the more time I spend at the gym, the more I realize that working with adults wouldn't be fulfilling enough. It would be fun, I'm sure, and I'm pretty certain I'd be good at it since I know how to interact with adults, but while talking to my Daddy on the phone last night, I realized that a lot of people who use a personal trainer feel like they NEED to be in good shape. They're often not motivated even, or they don't enjoy, but they do it because they know they should and cuz they're paying for it. With kids it's very different. You make it fun and different, and they'll actually WANT to be active and join sports camps or go play outside more often. And even though babysitting/nannying kids tires me out, that's mostly cuz I'm stuck in the same house as them and here in Texas they don't go outside cuz it's so hot. But if I were to be a coach or a team member at a kid's recreation center, like the YMCA or something like that, then it'd be fun! There'd be a lot of kids interacting, I'd make them run around and get all their energy out, and I wouldn't have to be with them from the tim I wake up until the time I go to bed. So, I've been looking at various kid gyms/fitness clubs/rec centers in the San Diego area to see where I can work and what my options are and what not. Any suggestions you guys might have would help a lot :) I still need to find an internship AND and job. So, yeah...

And I also was motivated yesterday. To run. A half marathon. Oh my goodness. What am I thinking? I'm actually excited about it! I've run a 10k before, and that's a little less than half of the half marathon haha. So I looked online for a half marathon training schedule, and found one that has you start 12 weeks before the race. Which is perfect cuz the race is 12 weeks from today!! And the very first run is schedule on tuesday and it's 3 miles. Which isn't bad cuz I usually run 3 miles on an every day/every other day basis. And tmw I just have a stretch+strengthen workout that I need to do. No problem!! So, yeah...I'm pretty excited about this. I think I know I can do it cuz my sister did it, and she has knee problems. Also, my nanny parents are both running a half in November, and the dad, Matt, has never run more than a mile in his life...which was on Thursday haha. So if he can do it, then I can do it! And at this point, my goal is to finish in under 3 hours. I think I can do that :)

Well folks, I need to finish getting ready for church. Matt and Becca stayed the night at a hotel last night cuz they just wanted to get out of the house and take advantage of the kids being gone...I think haha. I don't really know why exactly they decided to go to a hotel since they just went on vacation a few weeks ago. Oh well...

And that, my dear readers, is life through the eyes of a banana munchkin. Happy Sunday!! :)

Enjoy it!

That's what I tell myself on a daily basis, no matter what's going on. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but really, it's not all that hard to do either. Just fake it til it happens hahaha. Turns out that being a nanny when there are no kids around is kinda boring. It was nice cuz I was able to sleep in, and it has it's perks I'm sure. But when the past 10 weeks of my life have been revolving around 5 kids and keeping them in line and making breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner for them, having a day to myself is just weird. And boring. But it was relaxing, too. I just can't do all that much around the house and I don't know people in the area my age that I could hang out with. I do have the gym and the pool that I can go to, and there's always the library so I know I'll have plenty to read, but I'm not a fan of being an introvert. I prefer being around people. Even if I'm just in the same room or area as a few other people, I feel so much better. I don't even have to be talking to them. There's just something about being in the presence of others that I enjoy. Maybe that's why I enjoy airports so much. Hmmm...

Well, today was a good day. Very relaxing actually...who knew running 6 miles at the gym, working out hard, and laying out in the sun by the pool could make a person feel so good? Well, I guess listening to Fantasmic! for the first 25 minutes of my run helped haha. Not to mention most of the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack too. Who knew that instrumental music could actually be fun to run to??!! Not me! :) I have no clue what's in store for me tmw though...guess I'll just have to wait and find out! But I'm actually really excited cuz I get to go home in a week!! Actually, this time in one week, I'll most likely be eating dinner with my family :) that'll be a good day. Until then, I'll enjoy my time here and the fact that I'm a member at a gym and I didn't even have to pay for it hahaha.

And that, friends, is life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

To The Sea

okay, so it wasn't the sea that we went to. it was a lake. but it was still a lot of fun!! i was pleasantly surprised actually. the morning started out with me and Sarah going to the gym for a spin class which was an hour and a half long. and if you don't know, spin class can be super tough but super easy depending on how much resistance you add and stuff. but if you know me, then you know that i like to make things super hard and i like to be better than everyone, so i pushed myself to the limit! i was definitely shaking by the end hahaha. and then we went to the lake today and went jet-skiing and tubing which was soooo fun!! and that gave me an arm workout haha. i was stoked cuz they actually let me drive the jet-ski!! it was fun  :) i dragged the two girls on the tube behind me and they had fun until we hit a huge wave and they both skidded across the water. needless to say, they were pretty much done after that haha. luckily that was about 5 hours into our lake trip, so just a half hour or so before we actually skidaddled out of there. but yeah, being dragged on a tube with a 12 year old by a man who gets pure joy out of seeing people fly through the air and lose their bathing suits was quite the experience hahaha. out of the 3 times that i fell into the water, no i take that back, out of the 3 times that i FLEW INTO the water, my bathing suit bottoms almost fell off every time. one time they went all the way down to my shins and i was so thankful to God that the lake water was murky at that point hahaha. but yeah. definitely an arm workout haha. it was practically a competition between us (me and Sarah) and Matt. we tried our best to stay on and he tried his best to flip us into the water.

so, this week was amazing. like i mentioned before, i realized that i have to believe in myself and just let God do his work. and it's definitely had an influence on my life this week. i can feel it :) and it feels awesome!! and that's not a word that even comes close to describing how it feels. so, i'm just excited to see how God can keep shaping and molding my life. and i'm grateful for all the people in my life who are there to remind me of all those things all the time :)

and that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

Don't Stop Believin'

Today was a good and busy day. I had all 5 kids all to myself cuz Matt went out of town for a meeting and Becca had work, as usual. Thankfully the kids were in good moods and I didn't have to solve any arguments or figure out why certain kids were crying or complaining or whining. It was good. Even Becca wasn't a huge pain in my neck. Of course, I had a blanket over my shoulders and was walking in small circles for about 2 hours, but it was fine. It helped that we were watching a movie so it kinda distracted me and made time go by faster.

I also had a really good conversation on the phone last night. I had somewhat of a breakdown when I went to bed and couldn't fall asleep for at least a couple of hours. I'm very grateful that Sean called me though, cuz if he hadn't then I don't know if would've gotten any sleep at all. He always gives such good advice and helps put my mind back into perspective. Basically, I need to stop doubting and being so hard on myself and I need to be content with who I am, and by doing so, I'll naturally start improving. It's like a sub-conscious thing I guess. Anyways...I think that it was mostly because of that conversation that I was able to stay patient and optimistic today and that, in turn, just made it into a good day. So, I've learned to never stop believing in myself. Cuz nobody's perfect. I should strive to be the best I can be, but not kill myself when I mess up.

And that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.



"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
              ~Romans 15:13

We Are Loved

Today was better. I woke up feeling exhausted and slept for a bit longer. I went downstairs and ate breakfast, read my Bible and dozed off for a while. Then one of the girls came downstairs and started playing on her Nook and I ended up dozing off again for a little while longer. I was just exhausted!! And as much as I originally didn't want to, I ended up going with Becca and the 5 kids to a water park, Hawaiian Falls, just 20 minutes away. After getting there I didn't do much, just sat around and waited for my sunblock to sink in before getting wet and I eventually went on some slides and after that, I ended up spending about 4 or 5 hours out in the sun, in the water. We went on huge water slides, little water slides, but I think the majority of my time was spent in the wave pool. When the waves were on I felt so relaxed and peaceful, and it made me miss the ocean...even though sometimes I get freaked out by the waves in the ocean cuz they're so freaking huge! It was nice.

And all throughout the day I was reminded of how loved I am, and how all of us are actually. I have a parents and siblings who support me in everything I do. I have a fun job with kids and parents that adore me and want me to come back every summer until the oldest goes off to college practically haha. I have friends who will answer my phone calls, answer my facebook messages and emails in which I complain or vent and just pour my heart out into, and I have a boyfriend with a family who has claimed me as one of their own. I realized today that it's so easy for me to get caught up in my sad and lonely or angry feelings, even though they don't come that often, and I tend to act out on those or make it very obvious to my loved ones how I'm feeling. But I also realized that I don't notice all the good things in my life often enough, I don't thank God for everything he has given me. I worry and stress about things that are coming my way and that I have little to no control over. I let the stress and worries of this worldly life get to me far too easily than I should, and I don't enjoy the little moments in life. And the thing that struck this realization in me was Isaiah 43:2-3. God will always be with me. He'll always provide for me. And I don't have to do anything in return except for accept His gifts to me and live the way he commands us to live.

We are loved. It's as simple as that.
And that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

Hold Me

I had a good week. It was relaxing and peaceful and it was nice to not have any kids to worry about at all. I took a break from the internet and actually enjoyed it a lot. However, now that the kids are back at the house there's more stuff going on. And I'm very frustrated at the moment. I'm finally realizing that I have 3 weeks to find an internship and as of right now I've got no leads. Noone is calling me back, or answering my emails, and I can't find any more opportunities out there. I finally emailed my advisor for connections on her end, so we'll see what happens. I also realized that in a month I'll be living in an apartment and I'm gonna have to pay rent. Which means I'm gonna need a steady income. Which means I'm gonna need a job which is something else that I don't have and need to find. But with the job market nowadays?? It's gonna be ridiculous. I've also been in a strange mood today. Usually I'm super excited to have the kids but I was frankly quite annoyed with them all this evening. I kept wanting to go lock myself up in a room or bathroom and be by myself. I would've gone for a walk but when it's 110 degrees at 5pm...ugh.

I'm also quite jealous of some people. And I'm feeling lonely. The family has plans to go to the water park and Chuck E. Cheese this week but as of right now I'm not wanting to go to either of those places. I know I'll most likely end up going cuz it's good to get out of the house, but right now I just wanna crawl into a hole, curl up and die...or cry. or both. I just need someone to hold me and assure me everything's gonna be ok and it'll all work out in time. Right now is the time when I wish I could literally feel God's arm around my shoulders and his hand on mine, and feel him kissing my forehead and comforting me.

That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin
Joshua 1:9

Good Life

Today was amazing. It was so nice to be with the entire family again. I laughed so much!!! haha my cheeks still hurt :) we spent the entire day at the pool and i've got the sunburn to prove it hahaha. And I've decided to officially proclaim Sarah as my mini-me. I could hang out with that girl all day every day and never get tired of her. We have the same sense of humor, we think similarly, we both laugh at absolutely everything, we're both easily entertained...it's great. I love this girl. Don't tell anyone, but I secretly think she's my favorite. I know, that's terrible. I shouldn't have favorites! But the way I see it is, they're not my flesh and blood so I can have favorites if I want!! :)

As chaotic as it can be, and as loud and dramatic as it often gets, I would take all 5 of these kids over having just the one ANY day. I love the laughter, I love the random comments, I love the ideas they come up with, I love their personalities, and I love their love for each other. It makes me happy.

And life is really really good through the eyes of a banana munchkin :) :)

Dance, Dance, Dance

Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!!! I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH NANNYING BECCA ALL BY MYSELF!!! I can't believe that 2 weeks have already gone by. In some ways it feels like the time went by fast, but I think it feels more like it's been a lot longer. I've slowly learned to be more patient and control myself cuz this was a very hard and trying experience.

Anyways, I'm glad I went through this and could help out the family, but I'm never doing this ever again. Haha...and now I just wanna dance the night away to celebrate the fact that I survived!!! :)

And that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin. Good night!! :)

Think Good Thoughts

Today is my last day alone with Becca. Woot woot!! I'm excited. But it's kinda crazy to think that two weeks have come and past. And so fast, too!! There were definitely days that I thought dragged on and made me think I'd die before getting to this point, but I made it! And I'm trying to keep a bright and optimistic outlook on today. Even if there are tough moments (which I'm sure there will be), I'm gonna do my best to stay calm and not overreact cuz...today is my last day!! Hahaha. I can't believe it :) I'm so ready to be done and so happy about it that I started out my day by going for a 4-mile uphill run at 6 am. Of course, first I had to readjust my shoelaces on my running shoes cuz the cat got ahold of one of them and it ripped as I was tying it. And now, after having a banana and 2 cups of water, I'm listening to Colbie Caillat -- which I got from my sister yesterday -- and sipping coffee. And thinking that I need more than a banana and liquids for breakfast haha.

Ouch, my abs and obliques are sore...I was too tired to go to the gym yesterday morning at 5 am, so I slept for another hour and a half and did the P90X stretching workout which felt soooo good. And then last night I decided to do the ab ripper. And, I gotta tell ya, that thing makes your core work!! Unfortunately, though, my tailbone is pretty much rubbed raw so it hurts to sit in certain positions. Haha that's probably more information than you needed to know, but I have no shame, friends!! :)

So, I'm thinking good thoughts cuz it's my last day. And then next week is my week to relax. And sleep in. And read a book!! And do whatever else I want...I'll play it by ear :)

And that's life through the eyes of a very happy, tired, good-thoughts-thinking banana munchkin. :)

Ob La Di, Ob La Da

Life is indeed going on...brah! Hahaha ah geez. I'm a fan of the Beatles. They make life enjoyable and happy. And I'm pretty sure they were high when they wrote and probably sang many of their songs hahaha. Oh well. Still entertaining!

So today was a great day until about 5 minutes ago. I woke up before the sun did and went to the gym. And it felt fantastic!! I ran 5 miles in about 45 minutes...maybe less. But unfortunately around mile 4 I accidentally bumped the STOP button with my wrist and had to quickly restart before I lost my groove. Anyways, Becca played by herself all day, went outside for a large portion of it every so often which was nice. And she likes going up to her room and playing with her pillow and hitting the door.

So now for the bad news...I didn't get the internship I was hoping for :( And now I'm extremely sad. and frustrated and i know i'm gonna stress out soon too cuz I have to find one by the time I get back to school. That's one month. Please keep me in your prayers as I try to find an internship, which at this point looks like it won't happen...ugh. If I wasn't staying away from ice cream I'd go indulge myself.

That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

At Last

Today started out great. I had a great workout at the gym, Becca was in a good mood, my Disney music was shaking the entire house, I got some sunshine and read Psalms while Becca napped, and we even took the dog for a walk together. And then 3:00 pm rolled around. And she started to get grabby. And fussy. And she wouldn't stop crying for a while. I don't know what's gotten into her! I honestly think that she just misses her family a lot. After all, she hasn't seen them for almost 2 weeks! That's gotta be lonely and depressing for her. And I do what I can to help, but most of the time nothing works. She went up to her room so many times today and every time she did, she would close the door behind her. Well, the problem is that they have a thing on her doorknob so that she can't open her door when she's in the room. So she'd be in there for about 5 minutes and then start crying and pounding on the door. So I'd go up and open it and tell her to come down. Most of the time she didn't. She'd close the door again and be fine but then 5 minutes later, lo and behold! she'd by crying and banging the door again! Oy vey...but she eventually came down and was happy spinning in circles for a while or sitting outside. And she went to bed without fussing, and that's always a plus.

So then I thought to myself "At last, some peace and quiet! I'm gonna get me a starbucks drink!" so I went to the only starbucks I know of that is closer than 20 minutes away, but it was CLOSED!!! What kind of starbucks closes before 9pm? I don't get it. So I was sad. And I still am. But I'll just get one when I go to pick up Becca (momma Becca) from the airport on Thursday. Cuz that's the only other SBux I know of...20 minutes away, on the way to the airport. So, that's that. Oh, and today just confirmed to me that I am indeed lactose intolerant. More sad news. Oh well! C'est la vie!!

That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin, who's desperate for a yummy starbucks iced mocha...or something.

Hakuna Matata

I'd say today has been pretty fantasmic so far. Yes, fantasmic. Not fantastic. I'm in a Disney mood and I think it has to do with this past weekend and how difficult and trying it was. After not being to fall asleep for a couple of hours last night and waking up this morning with my eyelids feeling like they were glued shut, I decided I should probably get some more sleep instead of going to the gym. So I did. I woke up and fed the animals, took the dog out, and brushed my teeth when I heard Becca crying upstairs. And all I could think was "God, please help me get through another difficult day." I don't know why, but she's just been upset for the past few days, and I don't know why! I tried everything I could to get her to calm down, but nothing worked. Except taking her on a bike ride yesterday. But as soon as we got back she was sad again. And she was sad again this morning. So I fed her and changed her and played with her while I ate a toaster strudel without the frosting, and then I took her on a nice long walk. About a half hour into it, however, she started to cry!! I don't get it. So I brought her back and gave her her 2nd feeding and she went upstairs after a few minutes and shut her door. So she's been napping for almost an hour, which I'm so grateful for. I'm thinking she's just overly exhausted cuz she hasn't napped all weekend and she never sleeps in. And after she wakes up I think we'll go for a bike ride at some point, and later we'll walk to the pool. I figure if she's out of the house and doing stuff she's better off than just sitting around the house.

anyways, Disney music has helped bring my mood back up to positive. I figured that and reading through many of the Psalms this morning have helped me start the day out with an optimistic point of view. And i'm hoping it'll get me through the next few days as well. The Bible and Disney music are my saving grace at this point!! Hahaha...oh man. and to think that some people actually believe Disney music is from the devil. Psshh, puh-lease people!! Ridiculous...

I wish you all a very FANTASMIC day and remember... hakuna matata!!! :)
That's life through the eyes of an optimistic banana munchkin.

Oh and one last thing. I'd just like to say that I think it's ridiculous that many people nowadays can't spell. It's sad, but entertaining at the same time. Shouldn't school teach you things like that? BAhaha...oh well.

Seize the Day peeps!! :)

I wonder

about a lot of things. Like, why does time seem to fly by one day, but drag on the next? Why do I seem to understand a person one day, but can't seem to get why they do certain things or act a certain way any other day? Do people actually miss you when they say they do? I know that I don't tell people I miss them unless I actually do. I don't want them thinking that I do. But I know for a fact that some people will agree that they missed the person they're talking to, even though they really didn't. I wonder if it's like the "courteous" thing to do? And sometimes I even wonder what my life would be like if I had decided to go to Houghton College instead of SDCC...or if I actually did transfer and go to UCSD or some other state university and studied anthropology?

Today I've just been thinking about a lot of stuff. There's so much going through my mind right now, sometimes I wonder how it's even possible for thoughts to travel so fast. Or for me to go from thinking one thing to all of a sudden wondering about something completely different and not related in any way. I know there's a myth saying that we only use 10% of our brain...pretty sure that's not true. Cuz if it was, I definitely wouldn't be having as many thoughts as I do. I was also wondering why I decided to come out to Texas instead of starting a job in San Diego so I could continue it throughout the school year. And then I realized that it's cuz I knew this would most likely be my last summer where I could be a nanny. The last summer that I could just go anywhere to get a job instead of worrying about a family or what not...I don't know. I'm in a weird mood is all. Melancholy, some like to call it. I wish I was in Tucson right now so I could celebrate my sister's birthday with her and her fun family...and then I'd go to Phoenix to see my family, too. Soon enough, I guess.

That's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

Happy birthday Seester!!! :) I love you!!!

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah

Zip-a-dee-day...my oh my, what an interesting day. I had a nice morning at the gym :) I realized that I can run for quite a while. And I could've kept going! But if I had then it would've been way too late by the time I got back to the house. And I finished both of my papers!! FINALLY!!! The first one was rather easy...just a course reflection answering some questions and that's pretty much it. The other was a bit harder and more in-depth. It was a critique on a book and....yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah. Noone wants to hear about that hahaha. And I don't wanna talk about it! All that matters is that it's over! Hallelujah praise the Lord! I'm finally finally FINALLY done with my summer classes!! That'll take a load off of my shoulders.

Anyways, the day was interesting, like I said. I've discovered that I might possibly be lactose intolerant. I'm gonna do a little experiment over the next few days, or possibly week, to see whether I actually am or not. I'm hoping I'm not, but I guess it wouldn't be the worst food intolerance to have. Better than being gluten intolerant! That would suck big time. And I was planning on going to church today too. So I looked up directions, wrote them down and off I went. Buuuuut guess what? Google maps was wrong. They told me to turn right instead of left and I ended up going 15 minutes away from the church. By the time I realized it, turned around, and found the church, it was more than halfway through the service. Which means that the pastor would've already started speaking. And I don't like walking into services late like that. So I drove back to the house. And that's probably a good thing, too, cuz Becca ended up having a very gross poop and I just threw her in the tub for 45 minutes or so to have a break haha. She loved it though :) I'm glad she likes baths. Always makes my last couple of hours of the day an easy time.

Well, I've got nothing else to talk about. My life isn't all that exciting. And right now I'm glad it's not cuz I'd be so overwhelmed and stressed out that I'd probably die. But at the same time I'd rather have more stuff going on and NOT be nannying right now...kids just tire me out. I don't know if I could work with them full-time.

Anyways, that's life through the eyes of an exhausted, overwhelmed, and often frustrated banana munchkin who just wants the summer to end. Nighty night!!


"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
            ~Matthew 11:28

One of those days

I am not motivated to do anything today. I have two huge papers to write by Sunday. They're the last things I have to do and then I'll be done with my summer classes. You'd think that I'd be so excited that I'd just get down to work and get it done! But no. I'm so tired and over these topics that I just wanna give up and let it be what it is. But at the same time I know that I'll beat myself up over and over and over cuz I'll know I didn't do my best. But how can I do my best when I have no motivation?? *sigh* I just don't know anymore. And it's not like I'm distracted or busy with Becca, cuz she's been napping almost all morning, so I really have no excuse. I just can't seem to start writing. It's days like these when I wish I was in San Diego, sitting in the Living Room Cafe with a small coffee (or iced coffee since it's so hot) with my Pandora station playing in the background. I'm able to get a lot more done when I'm out and about as opposed to being in my house (or a house I'm currently living in). Is there a quick remedy for senioritis? Is there a pill I can take or something I can eat or drink that will make me motivated enough to write these papers?? Oy vey...I need help!!!! Waaahhhh!!!!!

And that is woidjnjndsoighsdfioj...life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

What A Miracle

I've survived one full week with Becca. And it went by faster than I thought it would. The days go by slowly, but the week goes by fast. Thank God for that!! Becca's nails are getting long and she doesn't know how to control herself so I've got some scratch marks on my hands and arms. It's ok though cuz I know she doesn't do it on purpose. However, she does like to scrape at her right arm with her left hand. It started worrying me at one point cuz she kept hitting her arm with her nails and now there are red marks on her shoulder :( poor thing. But she doesn't mind. I just don't want people thinking i abuse her! That'd be bad. I'd cut them, but I don't know how short they usually cut her nails and I don't feel comfortable doing that...Plus, they told me not to worry about it cuz they'd do it when they got back. So that's another reason why I'm not gonna do it haha.

Today was a good day, though. I woke up early and went to the gym (something I'd like to do more often from now on). then when I got back I did quite a bit of homework which made me really glad. I still have a lot to do, but not as much as I did before today. I just can't seem to find the time to do that...Or enough time. one of these days I'll just have to stay up late to finish everything and then I'll just make sure to nap when Becca naps. It won't be so terrible...hopefully. I'm looking forward to the week after next, cuz I'll be off duty all week! It'll be nice...no kids for an entire week :) relaxation time. And then it's the kids again for a couple more weeks and then before you know it I'll be back in Phoenix and then back in San Diego. This summer is going by much faster than I thought it would and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not.

Well, friends, I'm exhausted. So i'm off to bed! Early, yes, but I'm gonna work out again in the early morning...before the sun comes up. Yeah, I'm crazy. It'll be worth it though...always is.

And that is life through the eyes of a banana munchkin.

At This Moment

...I'm very exhausted. I don't even know why, cuz I got plenty of sleep last night and I really didn't do all that much today. But nevertheless I'm pooped. I was planning on going for a run this morning but when my alarm went off I couldn't even open my eyes. So then I thought it was ok that I didn't go cuz I went last night after putting Becca to bed. So I decided to sleep for another hour or so but ended up sleeping til 8:30. WOW!!! I didn't think I was that tired. And then I proceeded with the usual stuff that I do every morning. But today, of all days, Becca didn't wanna nap. Usually after I give her her 2nd feeding she's out for like 3 or 4 hours cuz of the meds that I put in it. But not today! She didn't nap at all actually. Every time she'd lay down on the ground or the couch, she'd be back up within 5 minutes and playing or going outside...sheesh! And then I had my interview so I put her in her room, cuz I didn't want her terrorizing the house and I figured she'd fall asleep, right? WRONG! After my interview (which went really well so thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts!) I went up to get her and she was butt naked sitting on the floor. Aaaaand her sheets were covered in poop. yup, that's right! Poop. Luckily none of it got on the carpet, but she was covered in it and her clothes were covered in it. So I took everything outside and hosed it off (her included!) and then threw it all in the wash after putting some fresh clothes on her. I realized part of the reason why she was naked is cuz I put her in shorts that didn't have a drawstring, so they're easy to take off. And I also hadn't changed her before my interview, so it's partly my fault for poop going everywhere. I took her on a couple of walks today and I took Fenn out a few times as well, and I even did a half hour of P90X Plyometrics to make up for not running today. I would've done the whole thing but Becca had been in the tub for almost 45 minutes by the time I was halfway through the workout, so I paused it and then by the time I got her in bed and cleaned up her mess I was too exhausted to do anything else. So, I decided that I'm gonna either run or hit the gym tomorrow morning before waking her up. So going to bed this early is gonna pay off! Yay! And I'm sure I'll have no problem falling asleep tonight. I'm absolutely exhausted!!!

I hear back from Ryan Rogers (the guy who interviewed me) sometime next week. They're finishing up all their interviews this week so that they can make a decision soon. It's nice cuz if I don't get it I can look elsewhere, but if I do then I can finally stop looking! Yay! This place seems amazing. I really want this internship, but the competition seems fierce. He made it sound like there are a lot of people applying and he asked a lot of questions that were training-related and my expertise and stuff, so we'll see what happens. I was honest and he was easy to talk to and I wasn't nervous once the introductions started, so maybe he'll see that I really want it and they'll hire me. But I don't know. He didn't say anything that made it sound like I would get it, but he didn't say anything that made it seem like I wouldn't either. So, my fingers are crossed and I'm constantly praying that this is the place. He's a guy I can definitely see myself working with, I agree with all of their core values and their mission statement, AND they're supported by under armour which I think is really cool :) So I can advertise their stuff! Haha, like I don't already? :)

Well folks, that's life through the eyes of a banana munchkin. Nighty night!!




10 more days!!

Pray

Please pray for me! I just got an email this morning from Ryan Rogers, who is a supervising personal trainer at Fitness Quest 10 in San Diego. I had emailed him a week or two ago about possible internship positions at their studio and he asked me if I could skype tomorrow afternoon (Wednesday the 13th) at 1pm Pacific Time. Eeek!!! I'm so excited. I don't wanna get my hopes up or anything, but he's the second person who's responded to my emails and phone calls and what not, but the other place isn't even sure if they'll have a spot open by the time I get back to SD. So, if all goes well, I may become an intern at Fitness Quest 10 next semester! I'm really nervous, because I've never had an interview via Skype before, but I guess in some ways it won't be as nerve-wrenching as a face-to-face interview, right? Anyways, I'm really excited because this place seems to be really good and I completely agree with their mission and core values.

So, friends, if you wouldn't mind, please be praying for me tomorrow at 1 pm, because this interview is happening and it's the only lead I have for an internship.

And that's life right now through the eyes (and of course the rest of the body) of a banana munchkin! :)

Please Be My Strength

Ever since one of the bands at school sang a song by 'Gungor', I've loved listening to his album. He has such a unique voice and he sings words filled with truth and vulnerability. He's very open, it seems, about his feelings toward God. And this song just struck a chord in me (no pun intended haha). Although he is referring to his faith and needing God to strengthen it, I'm sure everyone can relate to it in some way or another.

Today was a hard day for me. I should've known it was gonna be difficult when Becca broke a casserole dish around 9 in the morning, shortly after I'd fed her and had to make some more formula. She took advantage of my back being turned and reached in for some kind of plastic placemat, which was underneath a whole bunch of dishes and luckily, luckily, only one broke. And then she decided to strip off her clothes twice. Not once, but twice!! and she tried to do it another time but I caught her and stopped her. She was really grabby and needy today, though, and that made it a hard and tiring day. I yelled a couple of times, something I'm not proud of at all. But it was more directed towards myself cuz I was just so frustrated. I didn't know what she wanted and she kept going upstairs to try and get naked or grabbing at stuff or shoving blankets and scarves into my hands wanting me to hold them up for her. She's really not all that much work, but it gets old after a while. I finally took her for a bike ride towards the end of the day, which I thought would help with her behavior. And it did, for a while at least. And then she was needy again. And the dog gets up and follows me every time I do something, even if it's just to refill my water glass, or go to the bathroom. And that gets annoying after a while, too.

12 MORE DAYS

I can definitely tell that my patience, my confidence in myself, and my faith are all being tested. I had a minor breakdown today, when Becca kept doing something that I kept telling her not to do, when the dog kept pawing at me, when the cat kept meowing for whatever reason (I never figured out what it was) and I was trying to fix up some formula/feeding for Becca I think. I wanted to give up. I wanted to call Matt or call his ex-wife LeAnn and tell either of them that I couldn't do this. That I can't handle being with one kid 24/7 and having to live the life of a non-working single parent for two weeks. And then a wise friend reminded me that God never puts us in situations that we can't handle. They may be situations that will push us right to our limit, situations that will stretch and pull is in various directions at the same time, but whatever those situations may be, we can handle them. And this is one of those situations for me. So, thank you friend, and you know who you are. And momma, thanks for the phone call. It was nice to hear your voice and be able to talk to someone who actually responds to me when I speak to them :)

I was reading Job today. And I just realized that I should've been thinking about that when I thought I was having such a hard time with Becca and the pets! Honestly, now that I think about it, Job is probably one of my favorite characters in the Bible. He's and inspiration. He loved and praised God even in spite of everything he went through. So, Job and Gungor have both spoken to me today, though I didn't realize it until just now pretty much.

And that's life through the eyes of a drained and exhausted banana munchkin.

Gungor: "Please Be My Strength"
So please be my strength
Please be my strength
'Cause I don't have any more
I don't have any more

I'm looking for a place
Where I can plant my faith
One thing I know for sure

I cannot create it
And I cannot sustain it
It's Your love
That's keeping me