Ch-ch-ch-changes

It's been a long time since I last wrote anything. I wish I was more consistent. I love reading about people's lives (reading anything really), so you'd think writing would be easy for me so that OTHERS could read about MY life. I just forget things. But writing is a great way of venting frustrations and feelings without anybody having to really get involved...unless you have other people read it. Then you may get all sorts of unsolicited advice. And I'm ok with that.
Anyways, life has been...hectic. To say the least haha. I'm 4 months pregnant, working 2 jobs, volunteering as a leader of youth group, married life, Sunday school teacher, trying to figure out what my next training certification should be and how to afford it...and who knows what else I do on a regular basis? It's all time-consuming and exhausting at the same time. But I'm very excited for this new chapter in my life. Sure, it's been hard and uncomfortable up til now with morning (aka all-day) sickness, nausea, sudden hunger pains, fatigue, growing abdomen, and random acquaintances acting like my best friends...but it's all going to be worth it once I meet this little one in less than 6 months! And along with all that comes the life-changing decision of whether or not I continue working, if I do where do I stay, where do I leave, where will we live, how will we afford it...so much that I could potentially be stressing out about.
But GOD IS GOOD and HE has been constantly and consistently reminding me that everything will work out and be perfect as long as I continue to trust and have faith in Him. It's not always easy, granted. I have my days of freak-outs or mental break-downs, but overall I feel calm. And I can't wait to see what happens in the future. I've wanted to be a mommy since I was 5 (except for those few years in High school and College when I wanted to be a lone traveler), and now that this dream is finally coming true I'm stoked. It won't be easy. But I know that being a mommy is going to be the most rewarding job ever. Period.
Momma Hogan out.

Oy vey...

Why is life so frustrating? Why can't i do what I love without having to add in extra work? I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I was so wrong. I should've thought this through. I should've prayed more about it before accepting this. Why don't I think? Why just I always jump at a chance without thinking about the add-ons? I thought this would be a piece of cake. It's not. All I really wanna do is glorify god in all that I do but that's so hard when I get anxious with what I do. God I need you. I need your wisdom. Your strength. Your discernment. And your courage to do the right thing and your hand guiding me towards what the right thing is cuz right now I have no clue what that is.

Broken

How do you react when someone you love dearly has been hurt? How do you react when they've been hurt by somebody you both trusted and respected, just tearing your heart to pieces? It almost makes me think that you really can't trust anybody. But I refuse to believe that. I know my husband. I know my parents. So was the case of these dear someones in my life...leaving me shattered. broken. now all that's left for us all to do is get up, wipe all the tears away, and pick up the broken pieces. We can trust God. We can know that He will ultimately use these broken hearts for his glory and turn them into something stronger, more resilient, and maybe more loving.
Please, friends, love one another. "...keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8. It may be difficult to love someone who has hurt you or another so deeply. But everyone deserves a second chance, especially if they are family.
Love God. Love others. God bless.